No longer a job seeker

It's been so very long indeed since the last post. Well, the reason for my absence is that I did not get the study abroad job that I had been dreaming about. After I received an automated reject email I just about lost it. I couldn't get over it, I sat in front of the screen whimpering, "how could this be...how could this be?" The email came in Friday evening and I had to sit with that all weekend. Why didn't I just put it to rest? Well, I felt quite strongly that I deserved an explanation, I interviewed for over 3 hours and THEY recommended me for the position. I perhaps pathetically clung onto the possibility that it was a mistake because there was some sloppiness with the automated system before and that this could just be a big egregious error on their part. But I still had to trudge through the weekend in a most miserable fashion until Monday morning, which I found highly disagreeable. But I finally made the call and basically heard what I figured I would, "we just found a candidate that was this that and the other"...yada yada. I was like ok, thanks for nothing and it's your loss. I didn't actually say that though. For the next few days I didn't have it in me to do much of anything except look into Grad school. I discovered a great program not far from me and I'm going to do it because it's my only ticket out of this mess. Once I had made the decision to go for it I at least felt better that I had something to work for, a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I have to study for the GRE, go visit the school, and get that application done. Plus Academia is my comfort zone and it's just not the same monster as apply for jobs. So I've been stoked about it.

But of course, just studying for the GRE isn't exactly a job so I had to get myself back into the job search routine, ya know, resumes, cover letters, dumb redundant online applications, and then waiting for the phone call or email to come, but the only thing that ever resembles communication is just some automated reject email. So I had expanded my horizons and basically just became less picky and went for anything that didn't involve me being a cashier at a food store, not that I'm knocking that, it's an important job and I give cashiers credit, but quite honestly, that's my personal Hell on earth. So about 2 weeks ago I applied for a data entry position with a life insurance company, the next day I got a rather odd email. The first line of which was "thank you for your interest in ...company." I thought it to be just a regular old reject but kept reading and at the bottom was "you have been scheduled for an interview." I was a little leery of it though because it didn't even have my name in it and you can't be do careful these days. I thought maybe it could be some scam or something. But I think I have the wherewithal to not give my bank account info to some salesman. SO I went and the office was in a professional building of sorts and I had to ring a doorbell to be let into the office. The guy who answers just says have a seat, then he comes back and leads to me to where the other candidates are filling out papers already. He didn't even introduce himself or ask my name. He could have been the receptionist for all I knew. So there were 4 others, we had to fill out a work history form, which was redundant, why did I bother submitting a resume? While we're filling out the paperwork he gives us this impassioned fervid speech about how his company is different because they care about everyone, even their applicants. That they want every applicant to have a fair chance because they're not one of those companies to hire people based only on connections but on merit and skill. So, sure I liked that, and I thought he did a good job. We take a series of "problem solving skills" tests, ya know basic math problems that an 8 year old should be able to do and some English stuff...it felt like an elementary school entrance exam. But I guess they need some way of setting people apart I mean seriously data-entry isn't rocket science, I did it during college breaks, even then I thought they could just train a chimp to do this. So then we just waited for our one-on-one interview. Instead of letting us go out into the waiting room he made us stay in the uncomfortable little testing room. So I finally get into the guys office and he does a complete 180 and turns into the corporate robot with his few pre-set questions that he asks everyone, nothing about my background whatsoever, not even sure if he glanced at my resume. But before we even got started he said, "I don't know if it was you but someone's parents came up here wanting to sit in the waiting room for the person they dropped off, I had to say no because I'm expecting a crowd and we just don't have the space to allow others to sit there." He knew damn well they were my parents because the only one left to interview was an old guy. So to start the interview I was apologizing for something I didn't do or had any control over. Now, trust me, I know it's not the best thing to bring parents, I had no choice, I don't have a car and can't get one until I get a job, they dropped me off and I thought they'd go somewhere else, but they came up and had to ring the doorbell where this ass told them to go somewhere else because he was expecting a crowd, there wasn't a single soul in that waiting room and I know that doorbell only rung a few times while I was there. Then after he makes me aware of that he just jumps into the first question, barely makes eye contact with me and just starts writing, 15 seconds in he said "I have to stop you right there because you're not answering the question." Wow, he barely knew my name and gives me no chance to answer the question the way I saw fit. Then he so graciously let me continue...good start, real good. I get through the next few and his last one is "if you could do anything in the world, what would it be?" and he emphasized the word anything. Well, I was honest and my answer had nothing to do with data-entry or life insurance and said I'd like to do something on an international level in which I could contribute to some cause or goal that's important to me." I was a Peace Corps volunteer for jeeper's sake, if he had glanced at the first page of my resume he would have seen that. He decided to give me an analogy to be sure he understood, he likened my answer to curing cancer and giving that cure away for free, but then went on and on explaining how it wouldn't actually be free because of all the people and processes that it would take to make that happen. It was basically a condescending diatribe of nonsense denouncing something that I didn't even say, time that he could have used to get to know me a little better. He didn't let me get a word in edge wise yet he cut me off when I tried to answer one of his mindless questions. That's when I knew things were not going to work out. So at the end, he told me it would take 5-7 days to make a decision because it also depended on the test scores. He couldn't wait to get me out of there, he bolted to the door to let me out, gives a weak handshake, doesn't make eye contact, and clearly already made a decision. Well, I barely knew what to make of that, it was bizarre really. When I reunited with my parents I was basically speechless, I needed time to formulate how to describe what just happened. They didn't seem particularly upset about being sent away by that jackass but I was angry about it, basically I just felt disrespected all around. But I was quite confident that I had done very well on those tests so there was still a chance I'd get it and he was a recruiter so I wouldn't have to work with him. Even so though, I would have taken it because I need a paycheck and it was normal business hours and pretty decent pay, plus it's only until grad school. Here's the icing on the cake and the most hilarious bit, I got a reject letter in the mail the next day. A letter, not an email, the next day! That means he immediately after printed a reject letter, and managed to get in the mail in time. I highly doubt that he graded my tests, what a bunch of BS. I wasn't surprised or disappointed.

So after that I seemed to have no other prospects, I was sending out resumes still and even decided to apply to PetSmart as a Pet Care Associate. I do not want to work in retail of any sort so that just goes to show my level of desperation. My mother a few months ago got a job as a cashier at Wal-Mart and my parents had been hinting that I get a job there because my mother was on the inside and she could "get me in." Like I said in the first paragraph, that would be my nightmare come true for a whole host of obvious reasons. But it was this past weekend that my dad started pushing it big time, declaring that I have to at least try and I have to do this and that and it would be for the best, don't loose out on the opportunity...yada yada. With every word that he said pertaining to me working at Wal-Mart my stomach just knotted up even tighter. I can't stand it, I don't want to hear it or talk about it. I know it sounds spoiled and rotten, but that's just the one thing I can't do, I worked in a grocery store years ago, and don't ever want to do it again. I hated every last second of it. After his speech I crashed on my bed and just laid there in agony at the thought of me getting up in the morning and going to work...at Wal-Mart with my mother and a bunch of people she complains about all of the time. Then my dad comes back out from the bedroom and tells me to do the application tonight, imagine that, I'm 27 years old and he's telling where to apply for jobs like he has the final say, I know he was well-intentioned, but yikes, can't deal with it. All I could do was let out a whimper of a "no...I...I'll look into other stores, I can't do that one...no." So I came out of my room and sat and did the PetSmart application so he could see me doing it to placate him for a while. It was like 3,000 survey questions ranging from desired hours to "do you consider yourself a reckless person who mostly does things without thinking?" Of course I answered yes to that... :~P I thought that at least this is a big bright store with cute animals in it. Oh and my mother doesn't work at regular wal-mart, it's just little grungy wal-mart grocery store.

This past Monday, 2 days ago is when it all changed and is the reason for the title of this post. My recruiter from the employment agency sent me a description of a job, United Blood Services is looking for 8 new people to join their call center, to get people in the database to come and donate again, which is a far more nobler mission than selling credit cards or vacuum cleaners. I thought fine, hours aren't too bad, pay is also not too bad. But was dismayed when I saw the "call center/customer experience required" sentence. But I decided to tell the recruiter that I do have relevant and applicable skills, just packaged differently and I'd still like a chance at it. Not even sure why she sent that to me, I don't have anything like that on my resume, but she did anyway. So we talked on the phone about it and said that she'd be happy to set me up with an interview. That personal touch just really helps...imagine if I didn't try, it would have been another lost opportunity. So I go for the interview and it was actually pleasant, mostly because it resulted in a job, but the interviewer and I got along very well, she was so real and down-to-earth, I felt like I was talking to a human being rather than a company robot. After about an hour she said the most shocking thing I've heard in a long time..."I'm going to let the agency know...nah, you know what I'm just giving you the job now, yes!" And she actually wrote the word yes on the paper...I was like "Wow...what?" There are 8 spots, but I know that 10 people interviewed on the day I went alone. In any event, I got one of those spots, and I don't know how often someone from an agency gets an offer on the spot, it was pretty cool to just click with someone and have them see you're a right fit and also just tell it like it is, immediately. It hasn't sunk in yet that I don't have to do any more searching, no more resumes, no more cover letters..not for a long time anyway. Here's the thing though...I'm also still interviewing for a child care center that's much closer to me and more hours, I have to see how it pans out, tomorrow is the final interview, a working interview where I'll be with kids and teachers for 3 hours to see how I do, I have a lot of experience with kids so I know it'll be fine. I don't know if I'll know tomorrow right after where I stand but I can't even fathom having two job offers at basically the same time...after 8 months of none and god only knows how many applications. These are far from my dream job but they don't involve me being a cashier in a grocery store or Wal-Mart.

More of the same

Well still no word, after the high from that great 2nd interview wore off I started to question whether or not I came off as well as I initially thought. I mean there's nothing in particular that I regret or feel negatively about, I guess aside from maybe rambling for a few extra seconds on the "how would you handle this?" questions and the one or two inane ones. But then I started to wonder if "you're most interesting to us and a lot people like you here" are things the manager might say to a lot of people, who knows? What if they weren't as dazzled by me as the first time? What if they choose someone who has more specific experience than I do? What if they don't want to take a chance on me? So today I tried a new tactic, convincing myself that I didn't get the job, that someone else has already been hired and sitting at my...I mean, their desk working hard. Perhaps I'd get a little relief from trying to will the phone to ring or from compulsively checking my email every hour because it sucks. On Friday I asked one of my references if he had been contacted yet and he said no. What are they waiting for? I know, I know that they have other priorities, but I've started to not give a rat's ass about their other priorities, I shouldn't be kept in the dark after a 2nd interview for a position that I was recommended for. The first position that I had initially interviewed for is finally no longer listed on the website, disappeared Friday night sometime. My status is still "not selected" and although I suppose there's a chance that the listing it's self expired and will pop back up any day or they're just scraping it altogether, I can't imagine still having a shot at it, it's just been too long. But that's ok because I'd much prefer the 2nd position. They actually recommended me for this, is there really a chance that I won't get this job? Plus one of them asked me if I have references, why would he ask me that if there was no chance or wasn't really interested? But what makes me nervous is the fact that I inquired a week and a half after the 1st interview about my status and that's when I got that dreaded email "We did fill the position." So it was no longer than a week and a half that someone was chosen for it, but then of course at the 2nd interview I was told that there was still a second position for that same job was still open. This Wednesday will be a week and a half, of course I have no clue as to how much longer the process will go on, I have no clue about any of it obviously or else I wouldn't be ranting and rambling away. I try to stay optimistic and then I catch myself feeling happy when I think about working there, but then I always have bring myself back to reality before I get too far gone.

3 hours and 15 minutes

As of yesterday I have officially spent a total of 3 hours and 15 minutes interviewing at this company for 2 jobs with 8 different staff members and have received nothing but incredibly positive feedback. So at this point it will be pretty hard to take if I don't end up with anything after all of that. After considering this place a joke due to what amounted to miscommunication and then ending up with a second interview at which I was told that "You're most interesting to us and a lot of people really like you here" by my potential supervisor, I feel I now deserve to know where my desk is and when I start and how much I'll be making. I got an even better vibe than after my first interview and the supervisor warmed up to me a lot more, he was the only one I couldn't really read last time and I thought for sure he was the least impressed, but this time we had one-on-one time and he was pretty open and talkative, I like him. He told me that out of the candidates I'm most knowledgeable about the company already (simple website reading is all that took) and asked if I had any ideas about the website...improvements, critiques..yada yada. Well we talked about it for a few minutes and I was flattered that he asked and actually took notes but in the back of my mind I couldn't help but think I was working for free...I mean that in a humorous way of course, but I was almost about to say "anymore ideas and it'll cost ya" but I didn't.

So overall I've been impressed with the interview method employed here, not too many dumb questions, very few in fact, a mixture of conversation and relating my skill set to the position and all that jazz, but one of the staff members that I saw this time asked me probably the 2 most inane meaningless questions I've ever heard. She's my around age and clearly had to think up a few questions on her own in order to justify her presence there along side the head of the department. "What do you think makes up a successful team?" Seriously? After reading my resume you are in doubt as to whether or not I can function productively in a team or that I don't know the difference between a crappy team and a good one? If you've ever held a job outside your house and succeeded at it for a little while, you can work in a team. Luckily for me I have far more experience than that...well, I still had to pretend I understood the value of that question and answer it..."let's see...a good team is definitely made up of lazy ass people who only care about their paychecks, have no ideas or thoughts about what they do all day, and don't give a rat's ass about reaching goals." Yes, that's it, my dream team. Give me a break. Also, I liked "what do you think it means to do a good job? how do you know if you've done the task well?" Again, seriously? Sigh, it's all about playing the game isn't it? I don't even really remember the extent of what I said, I think I threw in words like accuracy and correct and then probably just trailed off and looked to the department head for a new question. Plus I had an extended starer on the panel..he was super happy-go-lucky and pleasant but after a I felt I was done answering the question he just keep looking at me, waiting for more...well, uh, ok I'm done now, next question. I never know if that means I didn't answer to his satisfaction or if he's just an extended starer by nature...who knows right?

Well, other than that it was a solid interview..or 2 interviews I should say, 3 hours 15 minutes worth of interviews...I can't even imagine what it will be like to say "I'm going to work today" instead of "I'm still searching, submitting, and waiting."

Retraction

Ok, so...yeah, maybe I was a little hasty in the last post because there have been a few interesting developments thus far. Instead of just emailing me back the recruiter called me to explain, which in it of itself was appreciated. She said that what happened was they did fill the position but there is another opening for the same job. So I've been attached in the online system to that one and they've been re-evaluating the position so they're doing another round of interviews. I guess there's a chance that if they don't find someone better I might get an offer...I'm not too hopeful for that because clearly they want someone with experience that I just don't have, but I thought I was totally out of the running a few days ago and that's not the case, so it's still a good thing. However, the better bit is that the recruiter told me that my interviewers thought I'd be a great match for another position. So I told her of course I'm interested, I just want to work with you guys. So I applied and we'll see what happens and the fact that people on the inside think I'd be good for a position that I didn't even apply for is really refreshing. So now the curious thing though is that the original position that I applied for is no longer in "closed" status, so on their website I have 3 positions that are "in process," 2 for the same job and one for the new position. I really don't know what's going on over there, but things are definitely being re-thought, so I have an even better shot, at least that the feeling I get because I'm still in their minds and it was suggested that I apply for this new position. I don't know when they're going to start the interview process or really what happens next for me, if anything. Just trying to remain neutral and patient, but the nice thing is that this place moves fast, relatively speaking that is. So it's a relief to know that I am still in the game.

But now I don't know what to do about the career fair in LA, I have to book a plane ticket and a hotel room, and book it soon, but I don't want to do that if I don't have to. Hmmm...

Application Status: Closed

So this is how I found out that I didn't get the job I just went through three stages of the application process for: "Application Status: Closed." After being "In Process" all the way through the interview I just happened to check my application status on their website, when something changes or there's communication it's also sent to my email address, so no need really to check both. But I couldn't access gmail at the moment I felt I needed to check so I went there...and there it was "Closed." There was no information whatsoever attached to it, no message of any kind. So like I said in my last post, I came up with a few theories as to what that could mean. After a few days of my status being in "closed" I decided that I couldn't take it any more and emailed the recruiter that I had been dealing with since the beginning on Friday afternoon, didn't expect a response, but I got one. So my email was real short with "quick question" in the subject line, I've had success in the past with actually getting a response with the word "quick." I said my status has been updated to closed and there's no information attached to it so can you just tell me what that means, thanks, and I signed my whole name at the bottom. I didn't feel the need to say anything like "I just interviewed for the blah blah blah position and so on..." because this person was the one who initially reviewed my resume and cover letter, sent me a "candidate qualification" form to fill out, reviewed that form, called me to ask me more dumb questions on the phone, and then called me back the next day to schedule and interview. As of Friday, that was all a week and a half ago. So stupid me figured she'd at least recognize my name as someone who has gotten pretty far in the process. But clearly she didn't because this was her response: "We did fill the position, but there are others, please refer to the website. Thanks!" Thanks!? that's how you let someone know who's just played your convoluted tedious application game that the position has been filled? She totally didn't recognize the name. After the initial shock wore off, I thought that I just can't let this go. Not like this. Why wasn't I officially and in a much more professional manner notified that the position had been filled already by someone else? Why update my status to something ominous like "CLOSED" and not clarify?

So I responded politely yet firmly: "I'm just a little confused as to why I didn't receive any information about the position being filled. I interviewed for this position and didn't know what "closed" exactly meant, which is why I emailed you. Plus, the position was just re-posted but with slightly modified minimum qualifications, is this the same type of position?" I just hope she sees this and thinks, "oh I screwed up by sending Mallory that idiotic response." That she recognizes that I didn't just apply, I was interviewed! That's all. Then I realized that maybe they could have sent out an actual letter via snail mail and it'll take it's sweet time to reach me...but even so, don't update my online application status to "Closed" with no information, that drove me crazy, and who needs a letter these days? Just end it mericifully through an instant email.

And yes, there's another position with the exact same name but just a few modifications made to the qualifications. So clearly I wasn't even second best or they would have offered that one to me. It's just absurd to think that I'm not qualified to work for a study abroad company starting at basically the bottom of the barrel after spending in total a good 2 and half years of my life abroad as a student, a teacher, and Peace Corps volunteer. I guess they were looking for someone who had their little semester abroad in college and has lots of experience sitting in a cubicle making phone calls all day...because that's what this is. But I would have taken it happily, and I could have been good at it. And AND! I did have cubicle experience while I was in school I worked in the finance department of a hospital, I typed numbers all day in a damn cubicle...I know what it feels like to sit in one of those things all day every day. One of the interviewers asked me how I'd feel about that after "running around in Ukraine for so long." Uhh..excuse you, true I did many different things, but those were on top of a steady teaching job that I had to plan and prepare for everyday. The more I think about that the angrier I get because he trivialized my Peace Corps service and made it sound like I've been doing nothing but wandering the globe in a delightfully care-free fashion and couldn't possibly handle the restraint of a 9-5 cubicle job. And of course this guy who is the manager of the department that the position is under, out of the 6 who interviewed me, seemed the least impressed.

Maybe he was right, I don't want to sit in a cubicle for the rest of my life, the thought of being bored for a living scares me, but at this point I can't be so picky and I would have been thrilled to do a job that's respectable and allows me to actually deal with something that I hold quite dear and find incredibly exciting...and also know a hell of a lot about. But they made their decision. Next up: a few more applications and a peace corps career fair in LA...the thought of talking to recruiters who actually appreciate peace corps volunteers makes me feel warm and gooey on the inside.

A Good Swift Jump Off a Cliff Might be Great

So it's been a week and 2 days since the interview, haven't heard anything. Now I know that's not a lot of time, from what I've read and heard, a good 2 weeks at least is the norm before you get any kind of clue. But you see I've been spoiled by the relatively rapid process up through the interview itself. All in less than a month I applied, made it to the next step which was a form to fill out, a quick impromptu phone interview, and the interview itself. That's crazy fast. So I of course, as expected had the most unreasonable expectation that I'd get a call like immediately following my interview. Ok, maybe it wasn't an expectation, but just couldn't get it out of my head that maybe, just maybe, this would be quick and painless this time 'round. As many times as I told myself that I wouldn't get so emotionally invested in it, I can't help it. It just happens. I want it so bad that I can't be indifferent, I keep telling myself that there's a real good chance I just won't get it, but instead of waiting to simply find out about the result, I wait for the phone to ring so that the person on the other end can tell me when I start and where my desk is. So that's what I come to expect. What's different about this one from the last is that this is a much larger company...with a Human Resources department...oh HR...the mysteries of which are unfathomable. The last was a tiny organization where the main guy read the applications, chose who to interview, interviewed, and did the hiring. HR is like a brick wall where you can't get over it or through it and the only time you can get a glimpse beyond it is if they mercifully take a brick out so can peer through, that one brick being the interview. Like you've been let it long enough to see things for yourself, but once your back out the brick wall is still as strong as ever. If you call them, you run the risk of making a pest out of yourself, if you email...well I don't know what happens to those emails because they never provoke a response. Then if you do nothing, it's just drudgery and agony of waiting. You just never know why they do the things they do. For example, why is that the job listing is still up well into the interview process? Why would you allow others to apply if you've already selected and interviewed candidates? Does that mean that not enough people applied in the first place so that if something happens to every candidate you can still choose from brand new applications? Not likely. Now that my application status has been updated to "closed" at the very least to indicate that the listing is finally closed what does that mean for me? Was a final decision made and everything is literally closed for just me? Or is that we're all done interviewing and now the deliberation will begin to first make a decision? We were interviewed by 6 employees so there has to be deliberation time. I still haven't received a reject email so I guess I can assume at this point that the 2nd possibility is what's going on. So maybe HR hasn't yet shoved the brick back in place. Then I can't help to speculate and fantasize about what's going on in there all day...when are the interviewers going to get all together in that room, draw the shades, and begin comparing our files? How long will that take? And then once they've come to a decision how long will it take for the decision to reach HR, how will they pass on the message, by phone, email, Morse code? Then when will that HR person finally place the call and also send off the reject emails? Well if this hasn't happened yet that must mean this, and maybe they'll do it this way, or they must have loved me or then again, the one guy didn't seem all that impressed..::HEAD EXPLODES:: well, until I get a reject email I suppose it's nice to at least assume that I'm still in the running..right?

Here we go again...

Ok..deep breadth....I was most pleasantly surprised today to learn that I one of 3 to end up with an interview for this study abroad organization, not because I thought it would be a long shot or that there would be too many other candidates that have the same extensive experience abroad, but because yesterday the recruiter called and asked if I had a few minutes to talk...my gut reaction was "Of course I have a few minutes to schedule an interview!" Well, that's not what this was, this was yet another step to further whittle down the pool of applicants. So just to recap real quick..the first was of course submit resume and cover letter, the second was then a form of questions designed to further test your ability to well...answer the inane and immaterial questions that employers use to scratch applicants off the list, then the third was a spontaneous conversation on the phone basically reiterating the same line of questioning. It was at this step that I thought I lost it. The recruiter just caught me off guard, just returned from the grocery store and wasn't expecting another step before an interview.

So basically it started off like this..."Hi Mallory, do you have a few minutes to talk to me?" "Yes, sure I have a few minutes." "Great, what are your hopes and dreams for the future? What do you hope to accomplish with us? What would your previous employer say about you? How are you organized?" Ok, so she didn't ask all of those in succession like that but, just to give an idea...and also she didn't mention hopes and dreams, but it was that type of questioning. I have so much of this stuff crammed in my head that I couldn't really get much of it out in an impressive manner, at least I felt I didn't perform as well as I could have. So I was beating myself up over it all day yesterday and today until about noon when the call came to actually set up an interview for realsies this time. So now I have 4 days to prepare to razzle n' dazzle if ya know what I mean. I can't allow myself to get as emotionally invested as I did with the last interview..that was nuts, I actually caught myself chanting in my head "No one is better than me, no one is better than me" while I was power walking the day after the interview. Then a reject email cut me right down to size. So I guess the opposite effect worked out for me this time.

So the recruiter sent me an email saying that my interview will be from 9:30-11:30 with 6 people...is that normal? A panel of 6 for what's kind of an entry-level position?

But I just know that this means there will be plenty of time and opportunity to have to answer those ridiculous questions..."what would your previous employer say about you?" Hmm, well since clearly you're not going to ask him yourself despite the fact you asked for reference contact information, I guess I can say that he would say "Mallory is perfect in every way and that you'd be a fool not to hire her and it would be your total loss to let someone else have her." I also really like "how are you organized?" I mean seriously? "Uhh, well I'm not organized at all and my work area is usually in total disarray, I don't know how to use a calendar or a file cabinet and I'm more of a uni-tasker than a multi-tasker...so..how do ya like me now?" It's all about playing the game that's for sure...I'm gonna play it the best I can on Tuesday...