Retraction

Ok, so...yeah, maybe I was a little hasty in the last post because there have been a few interesting developments thus far. Instead of just emailing me back the recruiter called me to explain, which in it of itself was appreciated. She said that what happened was they did fill the position but there is another opening for the same job. So I've been attached in the online system to that one and they've been re-evaluating the position so they're doing another round of interviews. I guess there's a chance that if they don't find someone better I might get an offer...I'm not too hopeful for that because clearly they want someone with experience that I just don't have, but I thought I was totally out of the running a few days ago and that's not the case, so it's still a good thing. However, the better bit is that the recruiter told me that my interviewers thought I'd be a great match for another position. So I told her of course I'm interested, I just want to work with you guys. So I applied and we'll see what happens and the fact that people on the inside think I'd be good for a position that I didn't even apply for is really refreshing. So now the curious thing though is that the original position that I applied for is no longer in "closed" status, so on their website I have 3 positions that are "in process," 2 for the same job and one for the new position. I really don't know what's going on over there, but things are definitely being re-thought, so I have an even better shot, at least that the feeling I get because I'm still in their minds and it was suggested that I apply for this new position. I don't know when they're going to start the interview process or really what happens next for me, if anything. Just trying to remain neutral and patient, but the nice thing is that this place moves fast, relatively speaking that is. So it's a relief to know that I am still in the game.

But now I don't know what to do about the career fair in LA, I have to book a plane ticket and a hotel room, and book it soon, but I don't want to do that if I don't have to. Hmmm...

Application Status: Closed

So this is how I found out that I didn't get the job I just went through three stages of the application process for: "Application Status: Closed." After being "In Process" all the way through the interview I just happened to check my application status on their website, when something changes or there's communication it's also sent to my email address, so no need really to check both. But I couldn't access gmail at the moment I felt I needed to check so I went there...and there it was "Closed." There was no information whatsoever attached to it, no message of any kind. So like I said in my last post, I came up with a few theories as to what that could mean. After a few days of my status being in "closed" I decided that I couldn't take it any more and emailed the recruiter that I had been dealing with since the beginning on Friday afternoon, didn't expect a response, but I got one. So my email was real short with "quick question" in the subject line, I've had success in the past with actually getting a response with the word "quick." I said my status has been updated to closed and there's no information attached to it so can you just tell me what that means, thanks, and I signed my whole name at the bottom. I didn't feel the need to say anything like "I just interviewed for the blah blah blah position and so on..." because this person was the one who initially reviewed my resume and cover letter, sent me a "candidate qualification" form to fill out, reviewed that form, called me to ask me more dumb questions on the phone, and then called me back the next day to schedule and interview. As of Friday, that was all a week and a half ago. So stupid me figured she'd at least recognize my name as someone who has gotten pretty far in the process. But clearly she didn't because this was her response: "We did fill the position, but there are others, please refer to the website. Thanks!" Thanks!? that's how you let someone know who's just played your convoluted tedious application game that the position has been filled? She totally didn't recognize the name. After the initial shock wore off, I thought that I just can't let this go. Not like this. Why wasn't I officially and in a much more professional manner notified that the position had been filled already by someone else? Why update my status to something ominous like "CLOSED" and not clarify?

So I responded politely yet firmly: "I'm just a little confused as to why I didn't receive any information about the position being filled. I interviewed for this position and didn't know what "closed" exactly meant, which is why I emailed you. Plus, the position was just re-posted but with slightly modified minimum qualifications, is this the same type of position?" I just hope she sees this and thinks, "oh I screwed up by sending Mallory that idiotic response." That she recognizes that I didn't just apply, I was interviewed! That's all. Then I realized that maybe they could have sent out an actual letter via snail mail and it'll take it's sweet time to reach me...but even so, don't update my online application status to "Closed" with no information, that drove me crazy, and who needs a letter these days? Just end it mericifully through an instant email.

And yes, there's another position with the exact same name but just a few modifications made to the qualifications. So clearly I wasn't even second best or they would have offered that one to me. It's just absurd to think that I'm not qualified to work for a study abroad company starting at basically the bottom of the barrel after spending in total a good 2 and half years of my life abroad as a student, a teacher, and Peace Corps volunteer. I guess they were looking for someone who had their little semester abroad in college and has lots of experience sitting in a cubicle making phone calls all day...because that's what this is. But I would have taken it happily, and I could have been good at it. And AND! I did have cubicle experience while I was in school I worked in the finance department of a hospital, I typed numbers all day in a damn cubicle...I know what it feels like to sit in one of those things all day every day. One of the interviewers asked me how I'd feel about that after "running around in Ukraine for so long." Uhh..excuse you, true I did many different things, but those were on top of a steady teaching job that I had to plan and prepare for everyday. The more I think about that the angrier I get because he trivialized my Peace Corps service and made it sound like I've been doing nothing but wandering the globe in a delightfully care-free fashion and couldn't possibly handle the restraint of a 9-5 cubicle job. And of course this guy who is the manager of the department that the position is under, out of the 6 who interviewed me, seemed the least impressed.

Maybe he was right, I don't want to sit in a cubicle for the rest of my life, the thought of being bored for a living scares me, but at this point I can't be so picky and I would have been thrilled to do a job that's respectable and allows me to actually deal with something that I hold quite dear and find incredibly exciting...and also know a hell of a lot about. But they made their decision. Next up: a few more applications and a peace corps career fair in LA...the thought of talking to recruiters who actually appreciate peace corps volunteers makes me feel warm and gooey on the inside.

A Good Swift Jump Off a Cliff Might be Great

So it's been a week and 2 days since the interview, haven't heard anything. Now I know that's not a lot of time, from what I've read and heard, a good 2 weeks at least is the norm before you get any kind of clue. But you see I've been spoiled by the relatively rapid process up through the interview itself. All in less than a month I applied, made it to the next step which was a form to fill out, a quick impromptu phone interview, and the interview itself. That's crazy fast. So I of course, as expected had the most unreasonable expectation that I'd get a call like immediately following my interview. Ok, maybe it wasn't an expectation, but just couldn't get it out of my head that maybe, just maybe, this would be quick and painless this time 'round. As many times as I told myself that I wouldn't get so emotionally invested in it, I can't help it. It just happens. I want it so bad that I can't be indifferent, I keep telling myself that there's a real good chance I just won't get it, but instead of waiting to simply find out about the result, I wait for the phone to ring so that the person on the other end can tell me when I start and where my desk is. So that's what I come to expect. What's different about this one from the last is that this is a much larger company...with a Human Resources department...oh HR...the mysteries of which are unfathomable. The last was a tiny organization where the main guy read the applications, chose who to interview, interviewed, and did the hiring. HR is like a brick wall where you can't get over it or through it and the only time you can get a glimpse beyond it is if they mercifully take a brick out so can peer through, that one brick being the interview. Like you've been let it long enough to see things for yourself, but once your back out the brick wall is still as strong as ever. If you call them, you run the risk of making a pest out of yourself, if you email...well I don't know what happens to those emails because they never provoke a response. Then if you do nothing, it's just drudgery and agony of waiting. You just never know why they do the things they do. For example, why is that the job listing is still up well into the interview process? Why would you allow others to apply if you've already selected and interviewed candidates? Does that mean that not enough people applied in the first place so that if something happens to every candidate you can still choose from brand new applications? Not likely. Now that my application status has been updated to "closed" at the very least to indicate that the listing is finally closed what does that mean for me? Was a final decision made and everything is literally closed for just me? Or is that we're all done interviewing and now the deliberation will begin to first make a decision? We were interviewed by 6 employees so there has to be deliberation time. I still haven't received a reject email so I guess I can assume at this point that the 2nd possibility is what's going on. So maybe HR hasn't yet shoved the brick back in place. Then I can't help to speculate and fantasize about what's going on in there all day...when are the interviewers going to get all together in that room, draw the shades, and begin comparing our files? How long will that take? And then once they've come to a decision how long will it take for the decision to reach HR, how will they pass on the message, by phone, email, Morse code? Then when will that HR person finally place the call and also send off the reject emails? Well if this hasn't happened yet that must mean this, and maybe they'll do it this way, or they must have loved me or then again, the one guy didn't seem all that impressed..::HEAD EXPLODES:: well, until I get a reject email I suppose it's nice to at least assume that I'm still in the running..right?

Here we go again...

Ok..deep breadth....I was most pleasantly surprised today to learn that I one of 3 to end up with an interview for this study abroad organization, not because I thought it would be a long shot or that there would be too many other candidates that have the same extensive experience abroad, but because yesterday the recruiter called and asked if I had a few minutes to talk...my gut reaction was "Of course I have a few minutes to schedule an interview!" Well, that's not what this was, this was yet another step to further whittle down the pool of applicants. So just to recap real quick..the first was of course submit resume and cover letter, the second was then a form of questions designed to further test your ability to well...answer the inane and immaterial questions that employers use to scratch applicants off the list, then the third was a spontaneous conversation on the phone basically reiterating the same line of questioning. It was at this step that I thought I lost it. The recruiter just caught me off guard, just returned from the grocery store and wasn't expecting another step before an interview.

So basically it started off like this..."Hi Mallory, do you have a few minutes to talk to me?" "Yes, sure I have a few minutes." "Great, what are your hopes and dreams for the future? What do you hope to accomplish with us? What would your previous employer say about you? How are you organized?" Ok, so she didn't ask all of those in succession like that but, just to give an idea...and also she didn't mention hopes and dreams, but it was that type of questioning. I have so much of this stuff crammed in my head that I couldn't really get much of it out in an impressive manner, at least I felt I didn't perform as well as I could have. So I was beating myself up over it all day yesterday and today until about noon when the call came to actually set up an interview for realsies this time. So now I have 4 days to prepare to razzle n' dazzle if ya know what I mean. I can't allow myself to get as emotionally invested as I did with the last interview..that was nuts, I actually caught myself chanting in my head "No one is better than me, no one is better than me" while I was power walking the day after the interview. Then a reject email cut me right down to size. So I guess the opposite effect worked out for me this time.

So the recruiter sent me an email saying that my interview will be from 9:30-11:30 with 6 people...is that normal? A panel of 6 for what's kind of an entry-level position?

But I just know that this means there will be plenty of time and opportunity to have to answer those ridiculous questions..."what would your previous employer say about you?" Hmm, well since clearly you're not going to ask him yourself despite the fact you asked for reference contact information, I guess I can say that he would say "Mallory is perfect in every way and that you'd be a fool not to hire her and it would be your total loss to let someone else have her." I also really like "how are you organized?" I mean seriously? "Uhh, well I'm not organized at all and my work area is usually in total disarray, I don't know how to use a calendar or a file cabinet and I'm more of a uni-tasker than a multi-tasker...so..how do ya like me now?" It's all about playing the game that's for sure...I'm gonna play it the best I can on Tuesday...

Interview Follow up...sigh

So to make a long tedious story less long and tedious all I can say is that the interview didn't pan out. A few days after I received an email from the guy who said that he offered the job to someone else and that person accepted...she has skills that we never thought we needed. Ugh, like great, as if the rejection email wasn't bad enough, also tell me how magical the other girl is...super, just what I like to hear, gushing over the other one who got it while telling me I'm very well qualified but not as good...thanks.

I put in so much effort for that, combing the website to gather an in-depth essence of the organization and to formulate my thoughts in preparation for the typical questions, learned enough about HTML code to say that I have basic knowledge, MS office tutorials!!...I'm exhausted just thinking about it and it was like a month ago.

During all of that time I was down and out for sure, I was so high in the sky from such a great prospect and then it came crashing down. But of course I bounced back in my typical hopeful fashion...I don't have a choice but to keep going...So I've applied for a slew of other positions, getting better at crafting the cover letter and tweaking the resume, although sometimes I think I just put in too much effort and I am tempted to try the opposite, I think it would just feel good.

However, today, after yet another generally ok day dotted by the occasional bout of panic and flash realization of the drudgery that it is my life...I received an email from an org that I applied to back on April 1st, but it was in response to another position I applied for on May 10th, so I've been waiting to hear from them for 2 months for one position but after only 17 days from the second application I got an email...an email...the kind of email I wake up everyday for. Usually the email is indicative of a reject, however, that's not what this was. Quite the contrary indeed. I was "the next step in the application process." Someone reviewed my application and decided to give me a shot at the next step...which is really just another way to weed applicants out to wither down the numbers for interview selection by making us fill out another form that basically makes you wonder why we had to submit a resume and cover letter in the first place....like if you read those, why do I need to fill this out? But anyway, this is a step that I didn't anticipate, usually a cover letter and resume are sufficient, but in today's day and age it's more convoluted, so just have to play the game. But it's finally something, a little bit to boost my fragile and somewhat beleaguered self-esteem. I'm exhausted of this process indeed but if it's for the coveted next step I can do what I usually do best...razzle and dazzle...pull out all the stops...ready for my close up...I want to see my name in lights!...ok over the top...

OMG an Interview?!?

So something that I figured would only take place in my fantasies actually happened today...in reality that is. I had an interview, a real live interview with a person on the other end of the phone. The employer was kind enough to grant me a phone interview due to the fact that at the moment I'm all the way on the other side of the country. So this was kind of like a gift actually because I initially applied for the position way back in February so of course after a few weeks I forgot about and it and counted it as just another casuality of my own personal job war. So with a complete lack of expectation I checked my email for the last time Friday afternoon before the weekend when I give myself a break from obessively checking for a "If you just do this, you'll no longer be unemployed" message. What was there in that little inbox was big. It was an email from the employer that I subitted an application to all that time ago. He said that the nature of the admin support position had changed a bit to include more technical aspects such as website maintanence and in-depth knowledge of MS Outlook. He said that over 300 people applied the first time around and that if you're still available and have these skills than we have the weekend to apply again. Well, at first I was like..."oh great, I know next to nothing about those things." But I know a fabulous second chance when I see one. 300 applicants, this is what I've been up against. Other than fireworks and laser beams how do you compete with that? It's crazy.

First I figured that because he was literally giving us 2 days to do this that my odds would by default go up. It would be highly unlikely that all 300 and some applicants would A) even see the email in time, B) all still be available, and C) have the skills to even be considered. So I decided to shed the job-grumbles attitude and do what I can do over the weekend in order to make this a viable option. This particular employer and I have the Peace Corps in common so there's no way I'd let this slip by. So over two days I researched, I learned, I crammed, I practiced in order to at least put on my resume that I have basic knowledge of these technical things...which was totally true. Well, behold the power of effort and a little luck, only 40 of the original applicants reapplied and he narrowed them down to 6 for an interview, of those I was one of...that's what he told me when he called to set up the interview. So the next day when he called for the actual interview he told me right away that I am now one of 5. So he scratched someone off that list real quick. All in a few days I went from 0% chance at anything, to about 16% and then to 20%, which is closer than I've been in over 4 months.

The interview went very well, I can't imagine doing any better, as far as the technical stuff was concerned I was sure that what I did was much better than saying something like "well, I have no experience with those things whatsoever" and then having nothing else to say during a long awkward silence. I mean I think I dazzled him on everything else, when both you and an employer were Peace Corps volunteers there's definitely a pre-set connection there. I think I've earned a little break.

Well, the waiting game is in full swing though. He said he hopes that by Friday afternoon, today, he would have selected 2 of us for a final interview and let everyone know where they stand...it's 5:30 already in DC and haven't heard anything. While logically I know I have no way to know where I stand amongst 4 others of whom I know nothing about or what the boss has been doing all day to make this decision, I still can't help but turn and spin my performance around in my head over and over again. And trying to figure out of it's a positive that I still haven't recieved a call or not, which of course has no real answer for me at this point. He might not even be able to make a decision this week, he had to cram in all these interviews...oh well, I don't know. I guess as the next few hours go by and nothing happens it might actually be a relief because it gets less and less likely that he'd call today and I can stop willing my cell phone to ring and can sink back into the warm gooey satisfaction that I must still be in the running for a sweet job in DC.

Finger Dexterity?

well, I've given up on the government job search, by the time I get one of those it'll be time to retire and collect social security anyway, not that those checks would be substantial considering I would have spent my entire adult life working to find a job instead of actually working and contributing to the system...

So I decided to expand my prospects a bit and start looking for something in Arizona where I'm kind of stuck living with my parents instead of just focusing exclusively on DC, because I lost count after 20 some applications, I'm sure it's close to 30...When I was filling out an online app for a job here in AZ I realized that I'm totally exasperated by the process because I almost had a mental blow out when I had to submit a resume as well as fill out a "work and education history" form, which to me is like the dumbest thing ever...THAT'S THE POINT OF THE RESUME!!! Have one or the other..but both?? I'd rather one be left out so that the review process goes faster and then that's all the faster I get my rejection email or just no response at all. I'm convinced some companies make their online application system extra hard for whatever reason...this particular one made you fill in the information in those little boxes that you can type in, but with every time that I tried to move on, a message would pop up in those ominous red letters "there are illegal characters in the text" ILLEGAL characters?!? So basically I had a dash and a semi colon...punctuation other than the basic period and comma was apparently against the law, but I removed the incriminating evidence and still couldn't move on, I kept clicking the submit button and that menace of a message kept coming up...like seriously?? As if the process isn't painful enough, I have to be worried about being arrested for using punctuation? I was taring my hair out...then my computer lost it's Internet connection and lost everything that I did get done anyway, that set the tone for a pretty foul mood that I simmered in all damn day. I almost had a melt down over some basic administrative assistant job for a company that I barely knew anything about.

That was the moment when I realized that it wasn't just that particular incident that made me lose it, but the idea that I'm actually still engaged in this process...over and over and over and over again, painstakingly craft the cover letter that no one reads, tweak the resume at some attempt to catch someone's eye..which is just a total crap shoot anyway, then email it either to get an auto response or nothing at all...that's usually all I have to do, but then there are those with the online system with the separate application form aside from the resume so I'm forced to regurgitate or if I'm particularly into it, find a way to say the same damn thing about my job experience in a slightly different way in order to play the game...you know the game...the "I didn't just copy the information from my resume, I went above and beyond to show that I'm driven to set myself apart from the 700 other applicants" game. I shouldn't have to set off fireworks and laser beams to get someone to spend more than 2 seconds looking at my application...all of these employers are saying the same thing in their auto responses to applications..."we have an enormous amount of applicants, we can't do this, we can't do that, no phone calls, don't bother us because we're the only ones in the world that are busy." Well for crap's sake then lessen the time to submit applications, there is no reason that a job needs to be open for applications for 2 months...that's ridiculous, even a month is too long. It's a known fact that many employers barely look at the cover letter, more like skim it to find something dazzling...like 45 years experience or a more mildly interesting font than Times New Roman.

I think if we go back to basics like a good old resume, shorter application listing times, and less emphasis on the cover letter than the exasperation factor of this process just might come down a notch or 12. Employers need to stop skimming 432 applications for one position and spend a little more quality time on the fewer applications they would get with shortening the time to submit. They could use the time to call in a few more applicants for an interview, I mean if the basics are on the resume than it might actually be more productive to meet the person face to face rather than just throwing out their cover letter because it didn't catch the eye within 1.3 seconds, or at the very least craft an email that lets us know the status of our applications and the opening itself. Some do that with their online systems, and I just got a lovely reject email the other day, but I've found this to be the exception, not the norm.

Oh and Finger Dexterity is an actual attribute and requirement listed in some job descriptions for clerical and office positions, but for the more demanding administrative support jobs simple finger dexterity won't cut it because as the crafter of that job announcement demands, you must posses the ability to "grip and lift various items within the office." So the stiff-fingered and gripping impaired need not apply.