More of the same

Well still no word, after the high from that great 2nd interview wore off I started to question whether or not I came off as well as I initially thought. I mean there's nothing in particular that I regret or feel negatively about, I guess aside from maybe rambling for a few extra seconds on the "how would you handle this?" questions and the one or two inane ones. But then I started to wonder if "you're most interesting to us and a lot people like you here" are things the manager might say to a lot of people, who knows? What if they weren't as dazzled by me as the first time? What if they choose someone who has more specific experience than I do? What if they don't want to take a chance on me? So today I tried a new tactic, convincing myself that I didn't get the job, that someone else has already been hired and sitting at my...I mean, their desk working hard. Perhaps I'd get a little relief from trying to will the phone to ring or from compulsively checking my email every hour because it sucks. On Friday I asked one of my references if he had been contacted yet and he said no. What are they waiting for? I know, I know that they have other priorities, but I've started to not give a rat's ass about their other priorities, I shouldn't be kept in the dark after a 2nd interview for a position that I was recommended for. The first position that I had initially interviewed for is finally no longer listed on the website, disappeared Friday night sometime. My status is still "not selected" and although I suppose there's a chance that the listing it's self expired and will pop back up any day or they're just scraping it altogether, I can't imagine still having a shot at it, it's just been too long. But that's ok because I'd much prefer the 2nd position. They actually recommended me for this, is there really a chance that I won't get this job? Plus one of them asked me if I have references, why would he ask me that if there was no chance or wasn't really interested? But what makes me nervous is the fact that I inquired a week and a half after the 1st interview about my status and that's when I got that dreaded email "We did fill the position." So it was no longer than a week and a half that someone was chosen for it, but then of course at the 2nd interview I was told that there was still a second position for that same job was still open. This Wednesday will be a week and a half, of course I have no clue as to how much longer the process will go on, I have no clue about any of it obviously or else I wouldn't be ranting and rambling away. I try to stay optimistic and then I catch myself feeling happy when I think about working there, but then I always have bring myself back to reality before I get too far gone.