Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Oh How the Tables Have Turned

Never for a single day during my job search did I ever suspect that it would even be remotely possible to end up in a position where I would have to TURN DOWN a job because I have more than one offer. Mind boggling it is indeed. Me, hittin' the big time with 2 job offers, who would have thought? I can see my name in lights already....Ok, well it's not really the big time or the brass ring I've been waiting for, but neither job involved me being a cashier at a food store or cleaning out animal cages or typing numbers in a cubicle all day feeling like one of those plastic bird office toys that bobs up and down after being touched until it has no more force left to over come gravity and falls to rest at inertia.

Both employment opportunities hit within an 8 day period. You see that in itself is beguiling because I have been at the job search for over 8 months and it has been over 8 months of NOTHING peppered with disappointment and that's it. So to have a whole bunch of interviews and 2 offers inside of 8 days including the weekend is maddening. They're not my dream jobs or anything, but either would be fine until the next stage of my life. In my last post I casually mentioned the heinous idea that I would soon be desperate enough to end up at Wal-Mart...heinous. It reached it's peak last Sunday with my dad's "you really need to do it" speech. But then was rescued by the agency recruiter and United Blood Services on Tuesday. Now despite getting the interview with UBS on Monday (day 1) through the agency I still went to the child care center to hand in a resume the same day because I saw online they had an opening...must follow every lead. So the director there scheduled a quick phone interview for Tuesday (day 2) which I agreed to and later on that day I went to the blood bank and got that job on the spot. When I walked out of there and told my parents they recoiled in dismay at the fact this would require a half hour commute and due to my own lack of an automobile they'd have to drive me at first until I could get comfortable with the commute. Of course I felt bad, worse even than when I didn't have a job...I mean I thought that those were the words we've all been waiting for "I have a job." The hours were from 4:30-9pm so my mother was more or less terrified for me because I'd have to drive home at night. Just as a side note, I survived by myself in Moscow for a semester during college and then 2 years in Ukraine..also all by myself. My parents were more worried and agitated by the fact that I now have a job than before when I was going on 9 months without one...like what the F? So in response to this and also just my own inability to stop interviewing even with a newly acquired job, I kept up the process with the child care center. We were all in agreement that I would go ahead with the already scheduled formal interview for the next day, Wednesday (day 3) because the blood bank job didn't start until the following Monday. So I went for the interview, it lasted about an hour and a half, I liked the director, very sincere and engaging. She and I scheduled a 3 hour working interview for the next day, Thursday (day 4). So I go into the child care center on Thursday and just jumped right in, learned the kids names real quick, played with them out on the playground, helped the teachers and all that jazz. It was as natural and comfortable as could be, I did that exact thing for 2 years already after all. So after all of that the director wasn't around so I was told by her assistant that she'd get back to me by early next week, which would make things a little hairy being that I'd be at the blood bank. But the devious thing about it was that I knew I'd still be able to interview during the day with the center because my hours were in the evening with the blood bank. So of course my father had hoped I'd know right then and there so that I wouldn't have to go through with the blood bank thing where he'd be inconvenienced by driving me there. Well, I had to go and get a drug test for the blood bank before Friday so he and I went and did that after the working interview. Now, I get home figuring I can just relax the rest of the day, but the executive director of the whole child care center operation (they're a sister team who run 3 locations) calls a few hours later and decides to schedule the 4th and final interview for the next day, Friday (day 5). Ok, I was a little tired of it, but I went for it. Now it's here that I should step out of just listing the logistics of this process and mention that the directors are looking for someone who wants to be a teacher, someone who can commit, who wants to learn the ropes and do professional development stuff in order to move into a full time teaching position at some point. I love kids and I have fun in that type of setting, I loved my job at my old center in NJ, but not enough to make a life out of it, I'm on a different path. Throughout this process I started to feel guilty that I wouldn't be able to commit long term, that I'd be out of there to start grad school next year. I wasn't comfortable allowing them to think that I wanted to become a teacher and would make the most out of the opportunity and investment they'd make in me. Plus I knew there was one more candidate who had made it that far, because I had a job secured I couldn't justify taking that opportunity away from someone who would be far more committed, not that I knew that for sure, but it was probably so. But I still kept at it, had to see how this would play out. I did want the job and I'm fine with professional development, but I just felt off about putting in effort for something that I know I'd be done with in a short time while they thought I was moving forward with it. Didn't feel right at all. But I still couldn't stop myself, I felt fine about the blood bank, was curious to see if I could handle the call center thing and it was easier to digest because it's a great cause and would be nice to put on the resume. But my parents were so distressed over it for some reason, I felt compelled and like I said I did want it.

Friday (day 5) morning, my parents take me to meet the executive director at their 3rd location at 9:30am. They drop me off, I go in and announce my arrival. It's a beautiful center. I was told to have a seat, I finally catch a glimpse of her but of course, like any child care professional she's running around handling 20 things at once. So I have to wait. I almost make it into her office when a parent comes in wanting to take a tour of the place to consider placing her child there. That parent of course takes priority. She tells me I'd have to wait at least another half hour and I could reschedule. I call my parents who jetted off somewhere and my dad said just wait, it's not a big deal. True enough I suppose. So I wait. After the slight umbrage that I felt evaporated I focused on the fact that it is a lovely place and I chatted with the girl who held the position I was going for at the other center. I observed the goings on of the place, babies happily cooing in the play area and then screeching in fury at having to be placed back in their classroom. Pre-school kids carrying out missions dictated by their teachers who could not leave the classroom. One mission of particular importance was for two girls of about 4 to come out to the kitchen area to retrieve 3 plastic forks, 1 knife, and a paper plate. I appreciated the heir of confidence they exuded while on task outside of their classroom in an area usually occupied by adults. Once all of the specified items were collected that confidence however plummeted when scolded by another teacher for breaking a golden rule.."no running in school," and made to return to the kitchen area to use their "walking feet" all the way back to their class, and being further chided as that teacher called to them upon turning a corner, "I can hear your foot steps so don't try running!" Her smile expressed a devotion to and understanding of small children.

The executive director finally wrapped up the tour and I was willing her to get on with it so I can do this already. She told me she thought I'd reschedule...nope. You don't leave once you're there, so close to an interview. We sat down in her office and began. We clicked, simply clicked. She's great, quite a pip actually, a real character. You have to be to run 3 child care centers. It was probably the most fun interview I've ever been on..yes, it was the most fun. But she asked me how long I could see myself with her and that was probably where I fell apart because I couldn't answer that. I said I couldn't give her a number of years or a "forever." I did stress that I wasn't sure and that pursuing a Master's degree is down the road. And the pang of guilt hit because there I was knowing full well that I wasn't going to become a teacher and go to grad school a year from now kind of letting on that I could commit at least for a while and that I'd take full advantage of the resources they'd afford me. But despite that we had fun, I wanted to like hang out with her after that. I figured that since the other candidate had been interviewed already that she'd be able to tell me right then and there. But she didn't. She said that I'd hear maybe later that day or Monday morning, and that if I didn't I can call up to see what's going on. If you're going to offer someone a job you don't tell them to call YOU. So I thought she sensed from me that I couldn't stick around too long. She even said, "you have a degree, you've been around the world, don't you have bigger fish to fry?" I said something like I'm in a place where I need to figure that out...I do have things to figure out, but I did know that won't be a teacher, but I need a job and I would do very well for them while I was there because I do care about education and kids deeply, which she clearly also sensed.

After the interview I really had to consider what would happen if I were offered the job. I said yes to the blood bank job and was set to start the following Monday. So I was conflicted, big time. Plus I couldn't get over the fact that after so long I never thought I'd even have one job let alone two to choose from at the same time. So after the interview my parents and I went out to celebrate "the end of interviewing" which was appreciated considering the somewhat unnerving reaction I got upon actually securing employment at the blood bank. But when we got home early afternoon I was dreading the phone call because I was unsure. I started to really feel that I should turn it down and that it was the correct and honest decision. I felt good about the blood bank and wanted to try it. I just wanted to get to the evening when I knew she wouldn't call either way. Then I could totally relax over the weekend secure in my decision and the thought of going to work on Monday. Well at about 6:30 I finally decided to relax, no call. I figured that I didn't get the job, which would have been fine, that would mean I wouldn't have to say no to anyone and no harm done. Monday (day 7) morning rapidly approached and all I would have to do is get to 3:30pm when I could leave for work and wouldn't have to be around for the phone to ring and by the time I'd get home if there was no message I'd be home free. By 1pm I thought it definite that I didn't get the job and started to relax. But it happened...2 o'clock, the phone rang, my heart skipped several beats and I'm certain that it actually stopped for a few seconds. There it was on the caller ID, the name of the school. For that moment of time in between the realization of the identity of the caller and actually answering I clung to the hope that it could just be a "thanks but no thanks" call. My heart started to beat again only to sink after I heard "I'd like to offer you the position." Well, I'm glad though that I handled it like a mature adult and stayed secure in my decision and expressed all of my reservations. She was really very nice about it and appreciated my honesty. I was glad and relieved. I considered the matter closed, despite feeling bad and a little strange because I never had to do that before. But I began to get ready for my first day of training at the blood bank and was grateful to have something to do...that would result in a paycheck.

It was ok, it was 4 hours of HR gobbledygook, safety policies, dress code, attendance policies..which by the way are more strict for temps. If you're more than 3 minutes late 3 times you're done. So being 4 minutes late 3 times over any period of time would result in me loosing my job. We talked about blood itself, which was mildly interesting, we signed papers and figured out that every call we make and every word we say would be monitored and critiqued..I thought eh, whatever, I'd have to make it work for a while. It seemed a decent enough environment, despite the strict policies, the people were laid back and nice enough. They also cared about what they were doing. So I was getting comfortable with it, even read the "Blood Basics" packet in the red employee folder I was given. My parents were even coming around and realizing that I made the right decision and started to finally just be happy that I'm employed.

Well, all of that changed Tuesday (day 8) morning. The executive director that I met with for the 4th interview called me to express her disappointment. She told me she already spoke to her sister about what happened so she wanted just some more feedback from me. I briefly reiterated what I told her sister the day before. What she said next is what actually changed everything for me. She said, "Well, I'm calling to refuse your declination." I was like..WHAT?!?! She assured me that she had such a good feeling about me and that I could do good things there...that I was right for the job and the center. Wow...the second thing I never imagined was that an employer would "refuse my declination" and put in more effort at getting me to accept the job, figured the other candidate would have gotten it right after I said no. But she said that she wants me, but she does have another candidate calling and calling, plus 9 other resumes to consider. Well, I told her everything all over again, that I just couldn't really give the long term commitment that they're looking for..so on and so forth. In the end, she said if you can commit to the school year than it's still yours if you want it. I gladly accepted. I can give the school year and as long as she knows where I stand personally I don't have to feel guilty or bad about coming and then leaving after a year. I was so happy for obvious reasons, regular hours, more hours so more money, 15 minutes from home, not a temp job, and it's something that I know and am comfortable with, I can get out of bed in the morning and not dread going to work, don't have to worry about phone "goals" aka quotas. Best of all, it doesn't involve me being a cashier at Wal-Mart. Man that's awesome. Needless to say my parents were even happier than I was. Amidst the euphoria I had to call my agency recruiter to tell her I'm quitting. I wasn't that worried about it, this happens to people all of the time. She was like "You have got to be kidding me...Ok, thanks for letting me know, bye." A bit short and rude I thought. She had my resume, she knows what kind of industries I'm into, and the call center isn't one of them. Does she really expect people like us to stick with something that's not ideal just because she would loose out on commission? That would be crazy and no one does that. I took an offer that I couldn't refuse for many reasons. I'd be crazy not to. As my dad says, "no one looks out for you better than YOU." An employment recruiter might sincerely care about getting you a job, but they're not going to jump for joy because you found something better on your own and they'll let you know it, which just shows what you're really dealing with. Oh well..no skin off my nose, I got over it in about 3 seconds because I just got a real job that's secure where I'll be valued and appreciated in a much greater capacity than the other one could have afforded. So went in today to sign all of the paper work and get my welcome binder with my calendars, Spanish and Sign language materials, and all kinds information. The director was happy to see me and reaffirmed that I was the best candidate for the position, so we carried on and I'm ready to start tomorrow.

I'm just amazed at how this whole thing actually played out. The other thing is that I don't have any formal teaching education whatsoever. I have 2 years experience and I was an English teacher for the Peace Corps for another 2 years, but I don't have a degree in education. One of their biggest selling points is that ALL staff members have either a Bachelor's or Master's degree in early childhood education or are in the middle of one. I have nothing of the sort, an International Studies degree doesn't exactly relate, yet they chose me still out of 10 others, some of whom I'm sure have more education and devotion than me. It's very flattering and when an executive director of anything has that good a feeling about you despite not having the basic education part of the requirement, that's just not something you turn down. This isn't some random company that sells crap and doesn't care if I'll be there 10 minutes or 10 years. I made a real connection with the people there and I like and respect them already...how often can anyone these days say that? Probably not too often. No more applications, no more resumes, no more cover letters, no more job search sites, no more agencies, no more wondering what the hell is wrong with me because 7,000 applications in and I still don't have a job. I'm officially set until Grad school. PHEW.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

No longer a job seeker

It's been so very long indeed since the last post. Well, the reason for my absence is that I did not get the study abroad job that I had been dreaming about. After I received an automated reject email I just about lost it. I couldn't get over it, I sat in front of the screen whimpering, "how could this be...how could this be?" The email came in Friday evening and I had to sit with that all weekend. Why didn't I just put it to rest? Well, I felt quite strongly that I deserved an explanation, I interviewed for over 3 hours and THEY recommended me for the position. I perhaps pathetically clung onto the possibility that it was a mistake because there was some sloppiness with the automated system before and that this could just be a big egregious error on their part. But I still had to trudge through the weekend in a most miserable fashion until Monday morning, which I found highly disagreeable. But I finally made the call and basically heard what I figured I would, "we just found a candidate that was this that and the other"...yada yada. I was like ok, thanks for nothing and it's your loss. I didn't actually say that though. For the next few days I didn't have it in me to do much of anything except look into Grad school. I discovered a great program not far from me and I'm going to do it because it's my only ticket out of this mess. Once I had made the decision to go for it I at least felt better that I had something to work for, a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I have to study for the GRE, go visit the school, and get that application done. Plus Academia is my comfort zone and it's just not the same monster as apply for jobs. So I've been stoked about it.

But of course, just studying for the GRE isn't exactly a job so I had to get myself back into the job search routine, ya know, resumes, cover letters, dumb redundant online applications, and then waiting for the phone call or email to come, but the only thing that ever resembles communication is just some automated reject email. So I had expanded my horizons and basically just became less picky and went for anything that didn't involve me being a cashier at a food store, not that I'm knocking that, it's an important job and I give cashiers credit, but quite honestly, that's my personal Hell on earth. So about 2 weeks ago I applied for a data entry position with a life insurance company, the next day I got a rather odd email. The first line of which was "thank you for your interest in ...company." I thought it to be just a regular old reject but kept reading and at the bottom was "you have been scheduled for an interview." I was a little leery of it though because it didn't even have my name in it and you can't be do careful these days. I thought maybe it could be some scam or something. But I think I have the wherewithal to not give my bank account info to some salesman. SO I went and the office was in a professional building of sorts and I had to ring a doorbell to be let into the office. The guy who answers just says have a seat, then he comes back and leads to me to where the other candidates are filling out papers already. He didn't even introduce himself or ask my name. He could have been the receptionist for all I knew. So there were 4 others, we had to fill out a work history form, which was redundant, why did I bother submitting a resume? While we're filling out the paperwork he gives us this impassioned fervid speech about how his company is different because they care about everyone, even their applicants. That they want every applicant to have a fair chance because they're not one of those companies to hire people based only on connections but on merit and skill. So, sure I liked that, and I thought he did a good job. We take a series of "problem solving skills" tests, ya know basic math problems that an 8 year old should be able to do and some English stuff...it felt like an elementary school entrance exam. But I guess they need some way of setting people apart I mean seriously data-entry isn't rocket science, I did it during college breaks, even then I thought they could just train a chimp to do this. So then we just waited for our one-on-one interview. Instead of letting us go out into the waiting room he made us stay in the uncomfortable little testing room. So I finally get into the guys office and he does a complete 180 and turns into the corporate robot with his few pre-set questions that he asks everyone, nothing about my background whatsoever, not even sure if he glanced at my resume. But before we even got started he said, "I don't know if it was you but someone's parents came up here wanting to sit in the waiting room for the person they dropped off, I had to say no because I'm expecting a crowd and we just don't have the space to allow others to sit there." He knew damn well they were my parents because the only one left to interview was an old guy. So to start the interview I was apologizing for something I didn't do or had any control over. Now, trust me, I know it's not the best thing to bring parents, I had no choice, I don't have a car and can't get one until I get a job, they dropped me off and I thought they'd go somewhere else, but they came up and had to ring the doorbell where this ass told them to go somewhere else because he was expecting a crowd, there wasn't a single soul in that waiting room and I know that doorbell only rung a few times while I was there. Then after he makes me aware of that he just jumps into the first question, barely makes eye contact with me and just starts writing, 15 seconds in he said "I have to stop you right there because you're not answering the question." Wow, he barely knew my name and gives me no chance to answer the question the way I saw fit. Then he so graciously let me continue...good start, real good. I get through the next few and his last one is "if you could do anything in the world, what would it be?" and he emphasized the word anything. Well, I was honest and my answer had nothing to do with data-entry or life insurance and said I'd like to do something on an international level in which I could contribute to some cause or goal that's important to me." I was a Peace Corps volunteer for jeeper's sake, if he had glanced at the first page of my resume he would have seen that. He decided to give me an analogy to be sure he understood, he likened my answer to curing cancer and giving that cure away for free, but then went on and on explaining how it wouldn't actually be free because of all the people and processes that it would take to make that happen. It was basically a condescending diatribe of nonsense denouncing something that I didn't even say, time that he could have used to get to know me a little better. He didn't let me get a word in edge wise yet he cut me off when I tried to answer one of his mindless questions. That's when I knew things were not going to work out. So at the end, he told me it would take 5-7 days to make a decision because it also depended on the test scores. He couldn't wait to get me out of there, he bolted to the door to let me out, gives a weak handshake, doesn't make eye contact, and clearly already made a decision. Well, I barely knew what to make of that, it was bizarre really. When I reunited with my parents I was basically speechless, I needed time to formulate how to describe what just happened. They didn't seem particularly upset about being sent away by that jackass but I was angry about it, basically I just felt disrespected all around. But I was quite confident that I had done very well on those tests so there was still a chance I'd get it and he was a recruiter so I wouldn't have to work with him. Even so though, I would have taken it because I need a paycheck and it was normal business hours and pretty decent pay, plus it's only until grad school. Here's the icing on the cake and the most hilarious bit, I got a reject letter in the mail the next day. A letter, not an email, the next day! That means he immediately after printed a reject letter, and managed to get in the mail in time. I highly doubt that he graded my tests, what a bunch of BS. I wasn't surprised or disappointed.

So after that I seemed to have no other prospects, I was sending out resumes still and even decided to apply to PetSmart as a Pet Care Associate. I do not want to work in retail of any sort so that just goes to show my level of desperation. My mother a few months ago got a job as a cashier at Wal-Mart and my parents had been hinting that I get a job there because my mother was on the inside and she could "get me in." Like I said in the first paragraph, that would be my nightmare come true for a whole host of obvious reasons. But it was this past weekend that my dad started pushing it big time, declaring that I have to at least try and I have to do this and that and it would be for the best, don't loose out on the opportunity...yada yada. With every word that he said pertaining to me working at Wal-Mart my stomach just knotted up even tighter. I can't stand it, I don't want to hear it or talk about it. I know it sounds spoiled and rotten, but that's just the one thing I can't do, I worked in a grocery store years ago, and don't ever want to do it again. I hated every last second of it. After his speech I crashed on my bed and just laid there in agony at the thought of me getting up in the morning and going to work...at Wal-Mart with my mother and a bunch of people she complains about all of the time. Then my dad comes back out from the bedroom and tells me to do the application tonight, imagine that, I'm 27 years old and he's telling where to apply for jobs like he has the final say, I know he was well-intentioned, but yikes, can't deal with it. All I could do was let out a whimper of a "no...I...I'll look into other stores, I can't do that one...no." So I came out of my room and sat and did the PetSmart application so he could see me doing it to placate him for a while. It was like 3,000 survey questions ranging from desired hours to "do you consider yourself a reckless person who mostly does things without thinking?" Of course I answered yes to that... :~P I thought that at least this is a big bright store with cute animals in it. Oh and my mother doesn't work at regular wal-mart, it's just little grungy wal-mart grocery store.

This past Monday, 2 days ago is when it all changed and is the reason for the title of this post. My recruiter from the employment agency sent me a description of a job, United Blood Services is looking for 8 new people to join their call center, to get people in the database to come and donate again, which is a far more nobler mission than selling credit cards or vacuum cleaners. I thought fine, hours aren't too bad, pay is also not too bad. But was dismayed when I saw the "call center/customer experience required" sentence. But I decided to tell the recruiter that I do have relevant and applicable skills, just packaged differently and I'd still like a chance at it. Not even sure why she sent that to me, I don't have anything like that on my resume, but she did anyway. So we talked on the phone about it and said that she'd be happy to set me up with an interview. That personal touch just really helps...imagine if I didn't try, it would have been another lost opportunity. So I go for the interview and it was actually pleasant, mostly because it resulted in a job, but the interviewer and I got along very well, she was so real and down-to-earth, I felt like I was talking to a human being rather than a company robot. After about an hour she said the most shocking thing I've heard in a long time..."I'm going to let the agency know...nah, you know what I'm just giving you the job now, yes!" And she actually wrote the word yes on the paper...I was like "Wow...what?" There are 8 spots, but I know that 10 people interviewed on the day I went alone. In any event, I got one of those spots, and I don't know how often someone from an agency gets an offer on the spot, it was pretty cool to just click with someone and have them see you're a right fit and also just tell it like it is, immediately. It hasn't sunk in yet that I don't have to do any more searching, no more resumes, no more cover letters..not for a long time anyway. Here's the thing though...I'm also still interviewing for a child care center that's much closer to me and more hours, I have to see how it pans out, tomorrow is the final interview, a working interview where I'll be with kids and teachers for 3 hours to see how I do, I have a lot of experience with kids so I know it'll be fine. I don't know if I'll know tomorrow right after where I stand but I can't even fathom having two job offers at basically the same time...after 8 months of none and god only knows how many applications. These are far from my dream job but they don't involve me being a cashier in a grocery store or Wal-Mart.