Oh How the Tables Have Turned

Never for a single day during my job search did I ever suspect that it would even be remotely possible to end up in a position where I would have to TURN DOWN a job because I have more than one offer. Mind boggling it is indeed. Me, hittin' the big time with 2 job offers, who would have thought? I can see my name in lights already....Ok, well it's not really the big time or the brass ring I've been waiting for, but neither job involved me being a cashier at a food store or cleaning out animal cages or typing numbers in a cubicle all day feeling like one of those plastic bird office toys that bobs up and down after being touched until it has no more force left to over come gravity and falls to rest at inertia.

Both employment opportunities hit within an 8 day period. You see that in itself is beguiling because I have been at the job search for over 8 months and it has been over 8 months of NOTHING peppered with disappointment and that's it. So to have a whole bunch of interviews and 2 offers inside of 8 days including the weekend is maddening. They're not my dream jobs or anything, but either would be fine until the next stage of my life. In my last post I casually mentioned the heinous idea that I would soon be desperate enough to end up at Wal-Mart...heinous. It reached it's peak last Sunday with my dad's "you really need to do it" speech. But then was rescued by the agency recruiter and United Blood Services on Tuesday. Now despite getting the interview with UBS on Monday (day 1) through the agency I still went to the child care center to hand in a resume the same day because I saw online they had an opening...must follow every lead. So the director there scheduled a quick phone interview for Tuesday (day 2) which I agreed to and later on that day I went to the blood bank and got that job on the spot. When I walked out of there and told my parents they recoiled in dismay at the fact this would require a half hour commute and due to my own lack of an automobile they'd have to drive me at first until I could get comfortable with the commute. Of course I felt bad, worse even than when I didn't have a job...I mean I thought that those were the words we've all been waiting for "I have a job." The hours were from 4:30-9pm so my mother was more or less terrified for me because I'd have to drive home at night. Just as a side note, I survived by myself in Moscow for a semester during college and then 2 years in Ukraine..also all by myself. My parents were more worried and agitated by the fact that I now have a job than before when I was going on 9 months without one...like what the F? So in response to this and also just my own inability to stop interviewing even with a newly acquired job, I kept up the process with the child care center. We were all in agreement that I would go ahead with the already scheduled formal interview for the next day, Wednesday (day 3) because the blood bank job didn't start until the following Monday. So I went for the interview, it lasted about an hour and a half, I liked the director, very sincere and engaging. She and I scheduled a 3 hour working interview for the next day, Thursday (day 4). So I go into the child care center on Thursday and just jumped right in, learned the kids names real quick, played with them out on the playground, helped the teachers and all that jazz. It was as natural and comfortable as could be, I did that exact thing for 2 years already after all. So after all of that the director wasn't around so I was told by her assistant that she'd get back to me by early next week, which would make things a little hairy being that I'd be at the blood bank. But the devious thing about it was that I knew I'd still be able to interview during the day with the center because my hours were in the evening with the blood bank. So of course my father had hoped I'd know right then and there so that I wouldn't have to go through with the blood bank thing where he'd be inconvenienced by driving me there. Well, I had to go and get a drug test for the blood bank before Friday so he and I went and did that after the working interview. Now, I get home figuring I can just relax the rest of the day, but the executive director of the whole child care center operation (they're a sister team who run 3 locations) calls a few hours later and decides to schedule the 4th and final interview for the next day, Friday (day 5). Ok, I was a little tired of it, but I went for it. Now it's here that I should step out of just listing the logistics of this process and mention that the directors are looking for someone who wants to be a teacher, someone who can commit, who wants to learn the ropes and do professional development stuff in order to move into a full time teaching position at some point. I love kids and I have fun in that type of setting, I loved my job at my old center in NJ, but not enough to make a life out of it, I'm on a different path. Throughout this process I started to feel guilty that I wouldn't be able to commit long term, that I'd be out of there to start grad school next year. I wasn't comfortable allowing them to think that I wanted to become a teacher and would make the most out of the opportunity and investment they'd make in me. Plus I knew there was one more candidate who had made it that far, because I had a job secured I couldn't justify taking that opportunity away from someone who would be far more committed, not that I knew that for sure, but it was probably so. But I still kept at it, had to see how this would play out. I did want the job and I'm fine with professional development, but I just felt off about putting in effort for something that I know I'd be done with in a short time while they thought I was moving forward with it. Didn't feel right at all. But I still couldn't stop myself, I felt fine about the blood bank, was curious to see if I could handle the call center thing and it was easier to digest because it's a great cause and would be nice to put on the resume. But my parents were so distressed over it for some reason, I felt compelled and like I said I did want it.

Friday (day 5) morning, my parents take me to meet the executive director at their 3rd location at 9:30am. They drop me off, I go in and announce my arrival. It's a beautiful center. I was told to have a seat, I finally catch a glimpse of her but of course, like any child care professional she's running around handling 20 things at once. So I have to wait. I almost make it into her office when a parent comes in wanting to take a tour of the place to consider placing her child there. That parent of course takes priority. She tells me I'd have to wait at least another half hour and I could reschedule. I call my parents who jetted off somewhere and my dad said just wait, it's not a big deal. True enough I suppose. So I wait. After the slight umbrage that I felt evaporated I focused on the fact that it is a lovely place and I chatted with the girl who held the position I was going for at the other center. I observed the goings on of the place, babies happily cooing in the play area and then screeching in fury at having to be placed back in their classroom. Pre-school kids carrying out missions dictated by their teachers who could not leave the classroom. One mission of particular importance was for two girls of about 4 to come out to the kitchen area to retrieve 3 plastic forks, 1 knife, and a paper plate. I appreciated the heir of confidence they exuded while on task outside of their classroom in an area usually occupied by adults. Once all of the specified items were collected that confidence however plummeted when scolded by another teacher for breaking a golden rule.."no running in school," and made to return to the kitchen area to use their "walking feet" all the way back to their class, and being further chided as that teacher called to them upon turning a corner, "I can hear your foot steps so don't try running!" Her smile expressed a devotion to and understanding of small children.

The executive director finally wrapped up the tour and I was willing her to get on with it so I can do this already. She told me she thought I'd reschedule...nope. You don't leave once you're there, so close to an interview. We sat down in her office and began. We clicked, simply clicked. She's great, quite a pip actually, a real character. You have to be to run 3 child care centers. It was probably the most fun interview I've ever been on..yes, it was the most fun. But she asked me how long I could see myself with her and that was probably where I fell apart because I couldn't answer that. I said I couldn't give her a number of years or a "forever." I did stress that I wasn't sure and that pursuing a Master's degree is down the road. And the pang of guilt hit because there I was knowing full well that I wasn't going to become a teacher and go to grad school a year from now kind of letting on that I could commit at least for a while and that I'd take full advantage of the resources they'd afford me. But despite that we had fun, I wanted to like hang out with her after that. I figured that since the other candidate had been interviewed already that she'd be able to tell me right then and there. But she didn't. She said that I'd hear maybe later that day or Monday morning, and that if I didn't I can call up to see what's going on. If you're going to offer someone a job you don't tell them to call YOU. So I thought she sensed from me that I couldn't stick around too long. She even said, "you have a degree, you've been around the world, don't you have bigger fish to fry?" I said something like I'm in a place where I need to figure that out...I do have things to figure out, but I did know that won't be a teacher, but I need a job and I would do very well for them while I was there because I do care about education and kids deeply, which she clearly also sensed.

After the interview I really had to consider what would happen if I were offered the job. I said yes to the blood bank job and was set to start the following Monday. So I was conflicted, big time. Plus I couldn't get over the fact that after so long I never thought I'd even have one job let alone two to choose from at the same time. So after the interview my parents and I went out to celebrate "the end of interviewing" which was appreciated considering the somewhat unnerving reaction I got upon actually securing employment at the blood bank. But when we got home early afternoon I was dreading the phone call because I was unsure. I started to really feel that I should turn it down and that it was the correct and honest decision. I felt good about the blood bank and wanted to try it. I just wanted to get to the evening when I knew she wouldn't call either way. Then I could totally relax over the weekend secure in my decision and the thought of going to work on Monday. Well at about 6:30 I finally decided to relax, no call. I figured that I didn't get the job, which would have been fine, that would mean I wouldn't have to say no to anyone and no harm done. Monday (day 7) morning rapidly approached and all I would have to do is get to 3:30pm when I could leave for work and wouldn't have to be around for the phone to ring and by the time I'd get home if there was no message I'd be home free. By 1pm I thought it definite that I didn't get the job and started to relax. But it happened...2 o'clock, the phone rang, my heart skipped several beats and I'm certain that it actually stopped for a few seconds. There it was on the caller ID, the name of the school. For that moment of time in between the realization of the identity of the caller and actually answering I clung to the hope that it could just be a "thanks but no thanks" call. My heart started to beat again only to sink after I heard "I'd like to offer you the position." Well, I'm glad though that I handled it like a mature adult and stayed secure in my decision and expressed all of my reservations. She was really very nice about it and appreciated my honesty. I was glad and relieved. I considered the matter closed, despite feeling bad and a little strange because I never had to do that before. But I began to get ready for my first day of training at the blood bank and was grateful to have something to do...that would result in a paycheck.

It was ok, it was 4 hours of HR gobbledygook, safety policies, dress code, attendance policies..which by the way are more strict for temps. If you're more than 3 minutes late 3 times you're done. So being 4 minutes late 3 times over any period of time would result in me loosing my job. We talked about blood itself, which was mildly interesting, we signed papers and figured out that every call we make and every word we say would be monitored and critiqued..I thought eh, whatever, I'd have to make it work for a while. It seemed a decent enough environment, despite the strict policies, the people were laid back and nice enough. They also cared about what they were doing. So I was getting comfortable with it, even read the "Blood Basics" packet in the red employee folder I was given. My parents were even coming around and realizing that I made the right decision and started to finally just be happy that I'm employed.

Well, all of that changed Tuesday (day 8) morning. The executive director that I met with for the 4th interview called me to express her disappointment. She told me she already spoke to her sister about what happened so she wanted just some more feedback from me. I briefly reiterated what I told her sister the day before. What she said next is what actually changed everything for me. She said, "Well, I'm calling to refuse your declination." I was like..WHAT?!?! She assured me that she had such a good feeling about me and that I could do good things there...that I was right for the job and the center. Wow...the second thing I never imagined was that an employer would "refuse my declination" and put in more effort at getting me to accept the job, figured the other candidate would have gotten it right after I said no. But she said that she wants me, but she does have another candidate calling and calling, plus 9 other resumes to consider. Well, I told her everything all over again, that I just couldn't really give the long term commitment that they're looking for..so on and so forth. In the end, she said if you can commit to the school year than it's still yours if you want it. I gladly accepted. I can give the school year and as long as she knows where I stand personally I don't have to feel guilty or bad about coming and then leaving after a year. I was so happy for obvious reasons, regular hours, more hours so more money, 15 minutes from home, not a temp job, and it's something that I know and am comfortable with, I can get out of bed in the morning and not dread going to work, don't have to worry about phone "goals" aka quotas. Best of all, it doesn't involve me being a cashier at Wal-Mart. Man that's awesome. Needless to say my parents were even happier than I was. Amidst the euphoria I had to call my agency recruiter to tell her I'm quitting. I wasn't that worried about it, this happens to people all of the time. She was like "You have got to be kidding me...Ok, thanks for letting me know, bye." A bit short and rude I thought. She had my resume, she knows what kind of industries I'm into, and the call center isn't one of them. Does she really expect people like us to stick with something that's not ideal just because she would loose out on commission? That would be crazy and no one does that. I took an offer that I couldn't refuse for many reasons. I'd be crazy not to. As my dad says, "no one looks out for you better than YOU." An employment recruiter might sincerely care about getting you a job, but they're not going to jump for joy because you found something better on your own and they'll let you know it, which just shows what you're really dealing with. Oh well..no skin off my nose, I got over it in about 3 seconds because I just got a real job that's secure where I'll be valued and appreciated in a much greater capacity than the other one could have afforded. So went in today to sign all of the paper work and get my welcome binder with my calendars, Spanish and Sign language materials, and all kinds information. The director was happy to see me and reaffirmed that I was the best candidate for the position, so we carried on and I'm ready to start tomorrow.

I'm just amazed at how this whole thing actually played out. The other thing is that I don't have any formal teaching education whatsoever. I have 2 years experience and I was an English teacher for the Peace Corps for another 2 years, but I don't have a degree in education. One of their biggest selling points is that ALL staff members have either a Bachelor's or Master's degree in early childhood education or are in the middle of one. I have nothing of the sort, an International Studies degree doesn't exactly relate, yet they chose me still out of 10 others, some of whom I'm sure have more education and devotion than me. It's very flattering and when an executive director of anything has that good a feeling about you despite not having the basic education part of the requirement, that's just not something you turn down. This isn't some random company that sells crap and doesn't care if I'll be there 10 minutes or 10 years. I made a real connection with the people there and I like and respect them already...how often can anyone these days say that? Probably not too often. No more applications, no more resumes, no more cover letters, no more job search sites, no more agencies, no more wondering what the hell is wrong with me because 7,000 applications in and I still don't have a job. I'm officially set until Grad school. PHEW.