If the title of this post conjures up images of a nightmarish scenario it's because it is actually a nightmare, my nightmare that I have lived every day this week. And it's still not over! It's only Thursday, there's still another whole day of this drag of a week left. Yup 2 little maniacs clogged the toiled then flushed causing a tidal wave of water...toilet water into the classroom. Now, I wasn't actually in the room for this seismic event however later on while closing up I lifted the laundry basket full of towels that I pretty much assumed was from the cleanup, figured they were just damp. Umm, yeah, the toilet water that those towels were supposed to soak up actually just pooled up at the bottom of the basket and immediately gushed out all over the floor upon tilting when I picked it up...toilet water. Sigh. This episode in it of itself really isn't such a big deal, if you've worked in a preschool for just a week that is clear to you. But mix it in with the anticipation and angst of Christmas, a classroom full of maniacs on a rainy day, a floor littered with crackers, a smart 3 year old who refuses to poop anywhere other than in his pants, and a teacher that's stressing over the GRE and you've got yourself a nightmare contained neatly within a single classroom. Now, little kids don't understand the concept of time, they have no idea how long an hour is and feel that 5 minutes is painfully long. But what they do know is that Christmas is coming soon, they know that their houses will be littered with presents from a giant guy in a red suit, they know that there are parties, sugary treats, stories, and all kinds of specialness due to this exciting thing that's coming. They just don't know when exactly, the idea of December 25th is lost to them, they're lucky if they can even count to 25 or know that December is a month. All of this excitement and lack of time understanding results in something pretty close to insanity. The kids are extra hyper, they feel an extra sense of entitlement because they're doing all of these special holiday activities that are not built into their normal routines, the sparkly tinsel hanging all over the classroom is just too tempting to resist, and parents are using Santa as a disciplinary measure. "If you're not good Santa won't bring you any presents." The typical highs and lows are are higher and lower during the Christmas season. Plus, not to mention, me. I'm stressed out. Exhausted. I don't have anything left to give these kids, I don't even have any love for the good ones. All I can think about is getting the GRE over once and for all, getting rid of the study books, getting them out of my sight already, and not ever thinking about it ever again. I've been terrified that I won't do any better than last time, or worse! I think about it and experience the nervousness as if I'm actually going through it. The past few days though I've convinced myself that I won't do any better and just expect the worst, it's easier that way. I won't be nearly as crushed as I was the first time when my crap score is revealed to me as if my fate was completely contained in the significance of those 2 numbers. I think it's been working, I'm not nervous, I think I've finally numbed myself to it. All that's left is a preschool teacher devoid of patience and in charge of a group of 3 year-olds so challenging I feel sucked dry by the end of the day. I mean have you ever tried to get 10 preschoolers to stand in a line for more than 5 seconds? I'm not even talking about the straight kind, just anything that bares resemblance to a line. Or have you ever tried to put 12 3 year-olds down for a nap at the same time, 5 of whom require every bit of my focus and attention or they'd be diving off of the ceiling repeatedly? That's my life Monday through Friday. It wasn't always like this, it was great when I first started with about 8 or 9 kids who were far less challenging, as in I didn't get hit, kicked, and scratched or called "fart face" when I sat next to them to pat their back to lull them to sleep. Now, in keeping with the spirit of this blog, I'll bring it back to the fact that this is the joy of employment at a preschool. I'm employed, I hate my life right now, but I am employed. I'll complain all I'd like but I am employed. Management is well-intentioned but out of the loop, which becomes more painfully obvious by the increased frequency with which I hear, "oh you have an issue, well just problem solve your way through it, you're a professional." Well, that took some real expertise there, I can say that, maybe I'll be next line for a management position.
On top of it all we're losing one of our administrators, she's great and we get along swimmingly, but she just can't live on the measly wages they're paying her so she has to move on. Can't say that I blame her, but her last day is rapidly approaching and there hasn't been any interviewing going on for her position. Like what the F? The new teacher that's been hired to replace the one that's leaving has not left a very good impression during her one and only training week. We're all pretty convinced that she'll last maybe a week. And then the insanity continues on with the hiring of some bozo that we have no idea what her actual purpose will be. She was hired a few days before we all started our Secret Santa gift exchange and she asked to participate in it. First off, why would you want to participate in a gift exchange with people who you don't know and don't know you at all? Weird. But the kicker is that we do ours a bit differently, ours goes on for a whole week, everyday is a little tiny gift from some sort of theme. She was only scheduled to work 2 days that week because she's not really needed until after the Christmas break. So logistically it didn't make any sense. She had to make a special trip each day in order to participate in a Secret Santa for token gifts with a $1 budget. I mean seriously? She didn't even show up a few of the days so the person she had was getting ripped off. On one of the 2 days she worked she said to our boss, "Oh I'll be right back I have to run to my car to get the Secret Santa gift, 10 minutes later she didn't come back and was just gone. Again, what the F? A few days later she was helping out because we had a few people out sick and were short handed, so she came in to help me put the kids down for a nap and in order to get 2 of my maniacs to lay down she said, "I can't give you guys suckers if you don't go to sleep." First, I was so flustered by the meltdown that one of my boys was having due to being dropped off really late and not wanting to come to school just to go to sleep that I was like, sure ok whatever works. She sat with the spastic kid and calmed down by telling him the same thing, that in order to get that special treat he had to go to sleep. Then she made a point of telling me that she was going to go and get "suckers" and bring them back for the kids. I was like, "Ok, cool." When everyone was finally sleeping I opened the door to chat with the very administrator that's leaving us. It had been a while since Bozo left and was wondering if she said anything to her about coming back. Her answer was no, but it was said in such a way as to convey a sense of absurdity, like how could I be serious. That's when she told me about the running to the car thing and then disappearing. Our boss was marveling at how she managed to get everyone to sleep so quick and then it became clear how she was doing it. Another teacher said the same "tactic" was used with her kids too. Who the F does that? Ok, maybe lots of parents do, but good preschool teachers don't. We teach respect for the rules and for others by NOT rewarding them for doing things that they just should be doing and have been doing all along. We don't reward kids for going to sleep or laying quietly at rest time. They have to do that. Trust me, teaching that is hard work, but it has to be done and it's worth it. Bozo did not come back with lollipops and I had to explain to the one kid that remembered her promise that I had no idea where she was. I understand when you just say something to a kid to get them to be quiet or do what you want them to do, but she made a point of telling me she would be back with lollipops and then just didn't come back. Who knows what happened, anything is possible I suppose, but the whole thing doesn't add up. The fact that her behavior had been odd and that she has years of experience at another preschool makes her a bozo. She'll be set straight though for sure when we get into the swing of the next semester. There's no way any of us will stand for bribery in our classrooms, not happening. Not that any of us believe she's ill-intentioned but it was just so old-school and outdated, like what modern education professional still uses bribery as a technique? The not-good ones I guess.
This week has been a total drag full of kicking, hitting, scratching, biting, toilet overflowing, pooping in pants, Bozo's shenanigans, uncertainty about the new lead teacher, and of course extreme anxiety about all things grad school. I fantasize about what it'll be like to get an acceptance letter and what it might feel like to get rejected from all 3 schools. I'm tired of waiting for professors to get to my recommendation letters, I'm tired of reading my purpose statement wondering if it's good enough, I'm tired of thinking about the GRE, I'm tired of pondering my academic career and wondering if anybody in my dream school's admissions office could possibly think it's up to par with their standards. I'm so tired. Plus I'm terrified I'm going to get sick, every kid's nose is just running green, and it seems like every 5 seconds someone is coughing in my face. I just got over a stomach virus that caused me to vomit up everything I had eaten for the past week as well as another most unpleasant symptom for about 5 hours during the night and left me with a fever and pains all the next day. Kids are gross, they really are and it takes really special people to love other people's kids through it all. Yup, I'm employed and in 24 hours I'll be on a 2 week vacation...not paid of course.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment